


Metal Gear But I Made it Gayer

by PrincessLink



Series: Metal Gear But I Made it Gayer [1]
Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Autistic Character, Autistic Solid Snake, First Kiss, First Time, M/M, Non-Explicit Sex, Panic Attacks, but not really, i don't even ship snake/gray fox, i just think it's an interesting dynamic, snake is baby, there's really not much goin' on it's just metal gear
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2021-04-13
Packaged: 2021-04-18 23:21:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 8,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21849979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincessLink/pseuds/PrincessLink
Summary: Basically Metal Gear, but Snake and Gray Fox have sex.
Relationships: Gray Fox/Solid Snake
Series: Metal Gear But I Made it Gayer [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1609618
Kudos: 7





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Solid Snake hauled himself out of the water, panting. He decided to take a few minutes to rest. While he was resting, he got a call.

"This is Big Boss," said Big Boss, Snake's CO, "Operation Intrude N313: infiltrate the enemy base, Outer Heaven, and destroy the Ultimate Weapon, Metal Gear. Okay, let's go over the details. First, make contact with Gray Fox. Then, locate the Ultimate Weapon, Metal Gear."

Snake thought Big Boss was a bit too obsessed with the idea of Metal Gear being the "Ultimate Weapon". Yeah, it was powerful (whatever it was), but did he really have to refer to it as "The Ultimate Weapon, Metal Gear" every. Damn. Time?

"Let's use frequency 120.85 for all communications from now on," Big Boss said, as if Snake even had a choice, "Over."

That was Big Boss for ya'. Never let anyone get a word in. Well, whatever. Snake had decided a long time ago that it wasn't worth dwelling on. He stretched and got to his feet. Shit. He was still wet. Hopefully, no one would notice the puddles he'd be leaving. Or maybe random puddles appearing out here was a regular occurrence. Whatever, it wasn't worth dwelling on. He was soaked, and he'd just have to deal with it. Though... he reached into his pocket. Yes, his cigarettes were still miraculously dry. He briefly considered smoking one... or several... until he was overcome with visions of the cigarettes leading to a horrible (not to mention untimely) death. Snake sighed and shoved the cigarettes back into his pocket. He'd wasted enough time- too much time, in fact. He took a deep breath and entered the building. As soon as he did, though, he got another call from Big Boss. Snake braced himself for a scolding.

"This is Big Boss" (Yeah, he knew) "The mission is infiltration" (He knew that too. Get to the point) "Make sure the enemy doesn't see you" (No shit, Sherlock) "Over."

Big Boss hung up.

That was it? Huh.

Snake continued straight, then went to the right, barely avoiding the guards there. He found himself outside. There were three trucks, and he entered the one closest to him. Inside, he found a ration.

"Screw this," he mumbled, and sat down to eat.

He was starving. Do you know how exhausting swimming is? Very. I was on a swim team once.

When he was done, he stood up and left the truck. He saw a guard leave the second truck and slipped inside it. There, he grabbed at key card before leaving. Who knew when the guard would come back. Snake dashed to the last truck, and grabbed a pair of completely useless binoculars. He went back the way he'd come, slipping past the guards again, and returned to the entrance. He went to his right and avoided some more guards. He found a locked door. Snake pulled out the key card from the truck and used it on the door. He slowly pushed it open and entered. Inside, he saw a gas mask on a table and a single guard, who quickly fell asleep. Snake ran to the table, but before he could grab the gas mask, the guard woke up. Snake dove under the table, and stayed there until the guard fell asleep again. Snake wanted to laugh, but he stopped himself. Instead, he scrambled out from under the table, grabbed the gas mask, and hightailed it outta there. Once outside, he allowed himself to succumb to the nervous laughter that could've gotten him killed.

"God," he said to himself, "This is not good. It's been, what, ten minutes and I'm already panicking." He paused, "And now I'm talking to myself. Great."

Finally, the laughter subsided, and he continued on, slipping past the guards again. Back in the entrance, he paused again. He was breathing heavily, but he didn't know when that had started.

"Okay, I'm Orpheus," Snake said. Mythology always calmed him down, "Only I can't play any instrument. And instead of my girlfriend, I'm tryin' to rescue Gray Fox. So... I guess it's not the same. Like, at all. Whatever."

After finally calming down, Snake continued on, avoiding the guards yet again. He found himself in a room with two guards and an elevator. He ignored them, and once again found himself in front of three trucks. He entered the first one and grabbed a handgun. He left the truck and peeked into the second one. It was full of guards just... hangin' out. What? He continued into the third truck, which held a single guard and some land mines. Snake snuck past the guard easily (because apparently no one had any peripheral vision), grabbed the landmines, and left. He waited by the elevator until a voice over the loudspeaker called, "Shift change!" and the guards left. When they were gone, he ran over and took the elevator to the third floor. Snake grinned. Easy.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Snake exited the elevator and immediately got a call from Big Boss.

"This is Big Boss," he said, "Watch out for surveillance cameras. Over."

No shit he was gonna avoid the surveillance cameras. He slipped past the cameras, and then some guards, and entered a small room. It appeared to be an office, and there was some ammo for some reason. Snake grabbed the ammo and continued on, using the key card to open a door. The next room held only a prisoner. Had Snake found Gray Fox already?

"Um... Mister Gray Fox?" Snake asked tentatively.

"I'm saved!" the man said.

"Are you Gray Fox?" Snake asked.

"I'm saved!" the man said again.

"Yes, but-"

"I'm saved!"

Jesus. What had they done to this man. Snake assumed torture. If they'd torture him for... God only knew why, what would they do to Snake if they caught him. No, Snake couldn't afford to think like that. He helped the man to his feet.

"Can you walk?" Snake asked.

The man nodded.

"I need you to get to safety, okay," Snake said gently. Of course, the room they were in was probably pretty safe, but it also reeked of things Snake didn't even wanna think about.

The man nodded again. Snake smiled at him, then went to the door to his right and unlocked it with the key card. Snake entered the next room, and suddenly, he couldn't breathe. Big Boss called again.

"This is Big Boss," he said, "I forgot to tell you. You need a gas mask for the gas room." (Just get to the feckin' point) "Schneider, the Cliffpercher, the leader of the resistance, should be able to tell you where to get one. Over."

"Boss, I don't-" Snake started, but Big Boss had already hung up. At least he already had a gas mask.

He slipped it on and made his way through the room, using the key card to open the door on the other side. He found himself in a room with a single guard and a surveillance camera. He tried to avoid the guard, but ended up getting spotted. Shit. Snake knocked out the guard and ran to the wall with the surveillance camera. There were two doors, only one of which Snake was able to unlock. It was another cell.

"Thanks... for... saving... me..." said the man inside. At lest he could talk.

"Have you-" Snake coughed violently, "Seen Gray Fox."

The man took a deep breath.

"The... FOXHOUND member?" he asked, "He's... unharmed... Ca... captured..."

"Thanks," Snake said," I just- need a minute."

He coughed again. And again. He tried to breathe, but that just made him cough harder. His knees gave out, and he fell to the floor.

"I'm going to die," he thought, "And it's all stupid Big Boss's fault."

Maybe it wasn't fair to blame Big Boss, but Snake wasn't particularly fond of him. Big Boss had never seemed to like Snake much, either. He'd always pushed Snake harder then anyone else. Snake wasn't allowed to just be good- he had to be the best, and the worst part was, he didn't even know why Big Boss pushed him so hard. He'd asked once, and had only gotten a cryptic "You remind him of himself when he was younger" from Master Miller.

After a long time- too long, in Snake's opinion- the coughing stopped. He got to his feet, waving off the concerned look of the prisoner.

"I'm fine," he said, "Get to safety."

Snake left the room. The guard had woken up, but this time Snake was able to sneak past him with minimal effort. He entered a room with a long object rolling back and forth.

A nervous giggle escaped his lips, and he muttered, "The Hell is this, Indiana Jones?"

He went to his left first, to pick up what turned out to be plastic explosives. Then he returned to the entrance area before going to the right and exiting the room. He snuck past some more guards and entered a room, which held another key card. Snake grabbed it and continued on until he couldn't go any further because the floor was electrified. He got another call from Big Boss.

"This is Big Boss. I forgot to tell you, but to turn of the juice, you'll have to destroy the electrical panel. For that, you'll need an RC Missile. Schneider, the-"

"Boss, I don't know who that is," Snake cut him off, "I don't know how to contact him."

"Oh, right. His number's 120.79," Big Boss said, almost reluctantly. But Snake had to be imagining things, right?

Big Boss ended the call, and Snake called Schneider, the Cliffpercher.

"This is Resistance Leader Schneider, the Cliffpercher. The RC Missiles are in the southwest. Over."

Yeah, real helpful, Cliffpercher. And what did that even mean, "the Cliffpercher"? Snake sighed. He ended up back where he'd knocked out the guard. He hadn't been able to open the door earlier, but now... he tried the new key card on the door. Yes! It worked. He entered the room and grabbed the RC Missile before leaving and returning to the electrified floor. He shot the missile and blew up the... thingy. Whatever it's called. He walked across the no longer electrified floor, snuck past some more guards, and entered a room with a large cardboard box. He grabbed the box and approached the door on the left wall. He dodged a few guards, then entered a room with four guards, which he also avoided. He didn't really want to kill anyone today. He entered another room and grabbed a grenade launcher, then left. He eventually found another prisoner.

"Thank you for helping me," the prisoner said, "Diane from the Resistance will provide support on frequency 120.33."

"Thanks," Snake said.

"Oh, Diane should have a lot of info about the enemy," the prisoner said, looking pleased to be able to help.

Snake called Diane.

"Who is this?" demanded a decidedly male voice.

"Is this Diane?" Snake asked.

"Diane? No, this is Steve. Who are you?"

"My name is Solid Snake. I was told to contact Diane," Snake explained.

"She's probably shopping, and won't be back 'till later. Sorry," Steve said.

Snake could tell he was lying, but decided not to press it.

"Okay, thanks," he said, and ended the call.

Snake left the room, snuck past the guards, and got into another elevator.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm currently typing the last chapter, so once I'm done with that, hopefully this'll be updated more frequently.

Chapter 3

Snake got off the elevator on the first floor. He ran past the guards and found himself in a room with three surveillance cameras. He pulled out the box and hid under it. He made his way past the first two cameras and entered a jail cell.

"Thank you," said the prisoner, "That FOXHOUND member... Gray Fox, I think, do you know him?"

"Uh, yeah," Snake said.

"He's being held in a secret cell," the prisoner explained.

"Okay, thanks," Snake said.

The prisoner beamed. Snake left the cell and once again used the box to avoid the surveillance cameras. He continued on, avoiding some more guards, and entered a room containing a sub machine gun.

"Huh," Snake said.

He left the room and continued on his way. He encountered even more guards.

"How many guards're even in this place," Snake wondered aloud, then clamped a hand over his mouth. Shit.

Luckily, the guards didn't seem to hear him, and he was able to sneak past them with ease. He found himself in a dead end.

"Don't move!" said a voice behind him.

Shit. ShitshitSHIT. He'd been caught. Time to lie his way outta this.

"I-I think you... uh... you, ah..." his mind was totally blank.

"Take 'im away," the voice ordered, and then something was covering Snake's nose and mouth, something that reeked of Chloroform.

Shit.

Snake passed out.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things get SPICY. But not really.

Chapter 4

Snake awoke in an empty cell to his transciever ringing. He answered it.

"This is Big Boss," Big Boss said.

Snake sighed.

"The infiltration is a success," Big Boss continued, sounding almost... proud? No, Snake had to be imagining things.

"Find the cell where they're holding Gray Fox," Big Boss said, "Check the walls. Over."

"Check the walls?" Snake asked, and then groaned. Why did Big Boss insist on being so vague.

Snake groaned again and got to his feet, stretching, before examining his surroundings. There were no doors, but then... how'd he get in there in the first place? Whatever, thinking about it made his head hurt.

"Check the walls..." he said again.

He approached the left wall and gave it an experimental knock. It made the sound that walls make when you hit them.

"I have no idea what I'm looking for," Snake groaned.

He moved up a bit and knocked again. Was it his imagination, or did that spot sound different? He knocked on the first spot again, and then the second. It definitely made a different sound.

"Now what?" he groaned.

Annoyed, he punched the wall... and his fist went right through.

He sighed, "Thank God, who knows what would've happened if..."

He imagined several scenarios in which he died because of a mangled hand. He shook his head, then set to work widening the small hole his fist had made.

Eventually, Snake made it into another cell, almost identical to his. But what really caught his attention was the man sitting- practically lounging- on the floor.

"What's your name, Sweetheart?" the man asked.

"Um... Snake," Snake said nervously, taking a tentative step toward the man and desperately wishing he didn't always turn into such a mess around attractive men.

"Oh," the man said, unimpressed, "I'm Gray Fox."

"Oh, I-I, um," Snake took a deep breath, "Can you tell me anything about Metal Gear?"

"Sure I can," Gray Fox smirked, "But it'll cost ya'."

"W-what?" Snake asked apprehensively.

Gray Fox laughed, "I'm sure you'll enjoy it, don't worry."

Then he got serious.

"Metal Gear's an all-terrain, nuclear-equipped, walking battle tank."

"Walking?" Snake asked.

"Yeah, two legs," Gray Fox held up two fingers, "Anyway, when it's finished, it'll enable a nuclear strike to be launched from anywhere on the planet. Know what that means, Honey?"

"World War 3?" Snake guessed, "Possibly a nuclear apocalypse?"

"Guess you're more then just a pretty face," Gray Fox smirked.

Snake blushed.

"Anyway, there's only one way to destroy Metal Gear, but the only one who knows is the developer, Dr. Drago Pettrovich Madnar. Who is, of course, being held hostage."

"Oh," Snake said, "Thank you."

Gray Fox grinned and got to his feet.

"Now, find some way outta here, and maybe you'll get a reward," he said, and stroked Snake's face.

Was he... flirting with Snake? Snake turned away to hide his blush.

"The walls," Snake blurted out.

"What?" Gray Fox asked.

"I-I got out by making a hole in the wall," Snake explained, pointing toward the hole he'd come through.

"Ah," Gray Fox held out his arms, "Go on then."

Snake nodded and approached the wall, and knocked on it. It made a sound similar to the wall he'd busted through, so he punched a hole in it, then made a hole big enough for himself and Gray Fox. But before he could go through, Gray Fox grabbed his wrist.

"Wait," he said, turning Snake around.

"But-" Snake started to protest.

Gray Fox pressed a finger to Snake's lips.

"It can wait," he said, "You owe me, remember? And there's still your... reward."

"B-both?" Snake asked.

"I've figured out a way to combine 'em," Gray Fox smirked.

And suddenly, he was kissing Snake, and Snake was on the verge of hyperventilating, because "Holy shit, it's my first kiss", but it wasn't like how he'd imagined it, it was too rough and he couldn't breathe and-

And then Gray Fox pushed him into the wall, and somehow his hands had ended up under Gray Fox's shirt, and Gray Fox's hands were in his pants, and then Gary Fox turned him around, and then... and then...

Snake fell to his knees.

"God," was all he could think of to say.

"I'm gonna guess that was your first time," Gray Fox said from somewhere behind him.

Snake turned to him.

"Yeah," he confessed.

Gray Fox smirked, "Well, I'd best be on my way. Fell free to join me when... you know..."

He winked and sauntered out of the room. Snake rested his head against the wall. So he'd lost his virginity, but he didn't feel any different. And it'd been different from what he'd expected, rougher, for one thing, and he'd always thought he'd sleep with someone he loved, not some random guy he'd just met. But whatever, he didn't have time for this. He got to his feet and left the cell. Gray Fox was leaning against a wall.

"Took your time," he said.

"Uh, yeah," Snake said sheepishly, "Sorry."

Gray Fox shrugged and stood up.

"Let's get goin'," he said.

Snake followed him to another room, which was completely empty except for a guy with a shotgun.

"I'm Shoot Gunner!" he announced, "No one's ever escaped from here!"

"Shit!" Gray Fox shouted, "I'll handle this! Get outta here!"

Snake ran to one of the three doors in the room, but it wouldn't open. In a panic, he punched it and it opened.

"Huh," he said.

He ducked inside and shut the door. He giggled nervously.

"I escaped," he said.

Then he noticed a bag. He opened it to find all his stuff. He returned to the room with Gray Fox and Shoot Gunner.

"What are you doing?" Gray Fox yelled, "I told you to get out of here!"

"I can't," Snake said.

He pulled out the RC Missiles and shot Shoot Gunner until he died.

"Nice job," Gray Fox said.

Then he dropped to his knees and blew Snake.

Gray Fox went through Shoot Gunner's pockets. He pulled out a key card and tossed it to Snake. They went through the door Shoot Gunner had been guarding. They ended up in a maze-area-place-thing. A dog was sleeping on the floor.

"Kill it," Gray Fox said.

"W-what?" Snake asked.

"Kill it," Gray Fox repeated, "If it wakes up, it will attack us."

"But-"

Gray Fox groaned. He grabbed Snake's gun and shot the dog. Snake flinched.

"Come on," Gray Fox said.

Snake got a call from Schneider, the Cliffpercher.

"This is Schneider, the Cliffpercher," he said, "Punch the walls and bomb areas that sound hollow. Over."

He ended the call. Snake and Gray Fox made their way through the maze, blowing up walls. In the middle, they found a Bomb Blast Suit. Then they left the maze and got on the elevator.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Snake and Gray Fox got the elevator on the second floor. They snuck past some cameras, then some guards and entered a hallway. At the end of the hallway was another door, and behind the door was another rolly thing. They avoided it and entered the next room. There was a single guard. They snuck past him and encountered three more guards, who they also avoided, and then they avoided more guards, and entered a room where three guards were sleeping. Snake glanced over at Gray Fox, but he'd already slit one of the guards' throat.

"Kill them," Gray Fox mouthed, and Snake sighed.

They killed the other two guards and grabbed some landmines, before leaving the room and running across the hallway to another room, which turned out to be another cell.

"Thank you for helping me," said the prisoner, "The only way to get into the inner courtyard is to parachute from the roof."

"Okay, thanks," Snake said, giving the man a thumbs up.

The man gave him a weird look, and Snake blushed. Could other people tell that... no, he'd worry about that later.

"Um, do you know where we could find a parachute?" Snake asked.

The prisoner shook his head.

"Okay, um... thanks anyway," Snake said, and then he and Gray Fox left the room. They continued on, beat up a guard, and entered another room. This one was empty except for some infrared goggles. Snake grabbed them and they left, making their way back to the elevator. They found a single guard who quickly fell asleep and avoided him, then found themselves in a room with some strange looking boxes. Snake started to step forward, but Gray Fox grabbed his wrist.

"Wait," he said.

Snake tried desperately to think of a joke.

"So... uh..." he said, but his mind was blank. Shit.

"Use those goggles," Gray Fox said.

"Oh. Yeah," Snake said, pulling out the goggles and putting them on.

Gray Fox laughed, "You thought I... Jesus, no, even I'm not that horny."

Then he dropped his voice, "Although, we could probably figure something out."

Snake adjusted the goggles, trying to hide his blush. Gray Fox laughed again.

"After you, my dear," he said, spreading his arms.

Snake turned to the lazers. Gray Fox smacked his ass, and he jumped. Gray Fox laughed.

"A-anyway," Snake said, and led Gray Fox through the lazers.

They ended up in a room with a guard patrolling two doors. They entered the first door, which led to another jail cell.

"Thank you," the prisoner said, "Dr. Madnar's being held in the cell located in the inner courtyard."

"Thanks," Snake said to the prisoner. Then to Gray Fox he said, "How do these prisoners know so much?"

Gray Fox shrugged, "Beats me."

They left the cell and entered the other door.

"I'm Machinegun Kid!" announced someone who was clearly not a kid, but a grown-ass man, "This is the end of the line for you!"

"Let's just get this over with," Snake sighed.

So he and Gray Fox killed Machinegun Kid really quickly 'cause I don't feel like writing out the whole fight. They entered the room behind he'd been and grabbed a parachute before returning to the elevator.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Snake and Gray Fox rode the elevator to the roof. As soon as they stepped out, Snake got a call from Big Boss.

"This is Big Boss," he said, "I forgot to tell you. There's a wind barrier on the roof, so you'll need a bomb blast suit. Over."

The call ended. Snake grinned.

"Joke's on you, Bitch," he said, "I already got one."

Gray Fox stared at him.

"Um, sorry," Snake said, "I'm not... Big Boss's biggest fan, exactly. But he doesn't like me much, either, so... what about you?"

"He saved my life," Gray Fox said seriously.

"Huh," Snake said awkwardly, "So, Bomb Blast Suit."

He pulled it out and put it on.

"Well, I guess this is where we part ways," Gray Fox said.

"What? No," Snake said.

"Well, there's only one suit..." Gray Fox pointed out.

Uh, we could... hold hands or something," Snake suggested desperately.

"Oohhh, I see what this is," Gray Fox smirked.

"What?" Snake asked.

Gray Fox winked and grabbed Snake's hand. They snuck past some guards and crossed a suspension bridge.

"Snake, I think you can take off the suit," Gray Fox said once they'd made it to the other side.

"Oh," Snake said, and pulled off the suit.

They continued on and were immediately spotted by a guard wearing a jetpack. They ran past him and encountered another guard with a jetpack, who turned on the electric floor. Snake pulled out the RC Missiles and shot the control panel thingy, then ran into a room and grabbed a mine detector. They ran back to where the first jetpack-clad guard was and ran past him until they encountered a helicopter. Which started shooting at them.

"Shit!" Gray Fox yelled.

"What do we do!?" Snake yelled back.

"I dunno!" Gray Fox yelled, "Call Big Boss!"

Snake called Diane.

"Hi, welcome to Chilli's," said a voice, "This is Diane, how can I help you?"

"Uh, my name is Solid Snake. I'm with FOXHOUND, and I was told to contact you if I had any questions about my enemies," Snake said.

"Oh yeah," Diane said, "So, what's up?"

"Um, there's a helicopter shooting at me," Snake said, "Do you... happen to know anything about that?"

"Oh, yeah. That's be the Hind D," Diane said.

"A Hind D?" Snake asked.

"Mm-hm," Diane said, "It can probably be brought down with a grenade launcher. Byeee."

The call ended. Snake hid behind some crates and pulled out the grenade launcher. He shot it a few times, until the Hind D exploded.

"Well that was easy," he said.

Snake and Gray Fox continued on until they found a ledge.

"Well, parachute time, I guess," Snake said pulling out the parachute.

"Um, help," he said sheepishly.

Gray Fox helped him with the parachute.

"Um, you can just... hold on to me... I guess," Snake said.

Gray Fox wrapped his arms around Snake's neck, and they jumped off the building.

Their landing was far from graceful, plus, they'd landed in the middle of a pack of dogs, so Snake had to kill them, which he felt really bad about. They walked up to two trucks.

"Wait, I feel from good," Gray Fox said, "Pull out the mine detector."

Snake did, and discovered there were a feck-ton of mines around one of the trucks.

"I'm guessing that's the one we need," he said.

They entered and found a key card, then they went back to the courtyard. They opened the only door there to find... an empty prison cell.

"What?" Snake asked, "Dr. Madnar should be here, right? Where is he?"

"We don't have time for this," Gray Fox said impatientl.

"Yeah, okay," Snake sighed.

They left the cell and continued on, killing more dogs. They entered another jail cell to be told that Dr Madnar had been moved to Building 2. They ended up back with the three trucks inside. Snake used the key card to open a door. Then they snuck past some guards. They opend another door and ended up outside. But, in like... a desert place? I don't feckin' know.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7  
There were two trucks and Snake pulled out the mine detector. He avoided the mines and ignored the trucks. Snake and Gray Fox avoided some more mines and entered a truck. They found some rations, which they split before continuing on their way. They continued walking until they ran into a tank.  
"We gotta get rid of the one who gets in our way," Gray Fox said, pointing to the tank.  
Snake called Diane.  
"Yo," she answered.  
"Uh, yeah, we got a tank in our way..." Snake said.  
"Huh," Diane said, "Weellll, mines can destroy the tank."  
"Okay, thanks," Snake said.  
"Byee," Diane said cheerfully and ended the call  
Snake and Gray Fox placed land mines all over the place and the tank kept running them over until it exploded.  
They continued on until they saw some guards. There was an announcement about not letting anyone in unless their identity was verified or whatever, but Snake wasn't paying attention to it.  
Big Boss called.  
"This is Big Boss," he said, "Inspections. Wear the enemy uniform and infiltrate. Also, let's use frequency 120.13 for communications from now on. Over."  
"But why?" Snake asked no one in particular.  
"...Why what?" Gray Fox asked.  
"Big Boss," Snake groaned.  
Then he called Schneider, the Cliffpercher.  
"Hey, do you know where I could find an enemy uniform?" Snake asked.  
"Enemy uniform... there should be one in the basement of Building 1, I think," Schneider, the Cliffpercher said, "Also, let's use frequency 120.26 from now on. Over."  
He ended the call.  
Snake groaned and called Diane.  
"If you need me to use another frequency, tell me right now," he told her.  
"Yeah, sorry," Diane said, "Gonna need you to use frequency 120.91 from now on. Bye."  
The call ended.  
"Yeah, we are not backtracking all that way," Snake decided.  
"What?" Gray Fox asked.  
They returned to Building 1 and choked out two guards and stole their uniforms and returned to the Building 2 entrance.

Snake and Gray Fox stepped directly into one guards' field of view.  
"H-how do you do, fellow soldiers," Snake said nervously.  
Gray Fox elbowed him.  
The guard stared at them for what felt to Snake like five hours, but was probably actually five seconds.  
Finally, he smiled.  
"You two can go through," he said.  
"Thank you," Snake said, relieved.  
They started toward the door, only to be stopped by a second guard.  
"Why're you comin' this way?" he asked curiously.  
"Oh, um... "Snake said, desperately trying to think of an excuse, "You know... reasons... heh heh."  
He'd never been a very good liar.  
"I don't see how that's any of your business," Gray Fox said, "Unless..."  
He stepped closer to the guard.  
"Like what you see?" he asked, his voice low and sultry, while running his hand up and down the guard's arm.  
"Uh... what?" the guard asked awkwardly.  
"You heard me," Gray Fox said, and now his lips were barely an inch from the guard's, "What'll it be?"  
He wrapped his arms around the guard's neck, and Snake felt... jealous?  
"Go right in," the guard said quickly, stepping back and ducking under Gray Fox's arms.  
"Thanks, Dear," Gray Fox said, winking.  
They went inside.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8  
"What's wrong, Darling?" Gray Fox asked.  
"Huh?" Snake said, "Nothing."  
It wasn't that he was jealous of the guard, he told himself. It was just... unexpected.  
"You're jealous," Gray Fox said.  
"What?" Snake tried to laugh, "Nah, 'course not."  
"Yes," Gray Fox said, pushing Snake into the wall, "You are."  
So then they had sex.

Snake finally got around to investigating his surroundings. There was a pool... thing blocking his path, and Snake cautiously lowered himself into it. Luckily, it wasn't very deep.  
"What are you doing?" Gray Fox called lazily, still reclining against the wall.  
"C'mon," Snake called back.  
"You've certainly got a lot of energy," Gray Fox said suggestively, getting to his feet.  
Snake blushed as Gray Fox joined him in the water.  
"Cold," he said.  
"Uh, yeah," Snake said.  
Gray Fox laughed. They slowly made their way through the pool until they found a door. They went through the door to find a bulldozer slowly moving toward them. Snake pulled out the grenade launcher and shot grenades until the bulldozer blew up.  
"Huh," Gray Fox said.  
So they continued on, avoiding some lazers, and ended up in another room with a pool. And some guards, who shot at Snake and Gray Fox while they crossed the pool. Finally, they made it to the other side and entered another room. Snake choked out the only guard inside and went to the table. He grabbed the antenna off it and immediately got a call from Big Boss.  
"This is Big Boss," he said, "They are trying to jam our signal, but we should be okay on this frequency. Over."  
He ended the call.  
Snake sighed, then he and Gray Fox returned to the lazer room to get into the elevator.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9  
Snake and Gray Fox got off on the roof and were immediately spotted.  
"Shit!" Snake shouted.  
"What happened?" Gray Fox asked.  
They ran into a jail cell.  
"Thank you," the prisoner said, "Dr. Madnar's in the underground dungeon."  
"Thanks," Snake said, fingergunning.  
They ran around the roof for a while, encountering more jetpack-clad guards, and finding another card key. Then they got into another elevater.

Snake and Gray Fox got out in the basement. They ran past two sleeping dogs and into another room. Snake got a call.  
"Hey," he answered it.  
"This is Resistance Leader Schneider, the Cliffpercher. This is the start of the gas room. Over."  
He hung up.  
"The... start of the gas room? Snake asked, "Singular?"  
"What?" Gray Fox asked.  
"Do you... have a gas mask? Snake asked.  
"No, but I'm very good at holding my breath." Gray Fox winked.  
Snake blushed.  
"Anyway..." he said, pulling out the gas mask.

They continued on until they came to a dead end. Snake knocked on the wall, and then blew it up. They continued on and rescued a prisoner, who told them the only way off the floor was the north elevator. Then they found another prison cell. This one had an old man slumped in the middle.  
"Dr. Madnar?" Snake asked, slowly approaching the man.  
The old man lifted his head and smiled.  
"Dr. Madnar, my name is Solid Snake. I'm here to rescue you," Snake continued, gently taking the old man's shoulder.  
The old man threw his head back, his smile growing wider.  
"You've fallen right into my trap! In Outer Heaven!" he cackled, "The real Dr. Madnar is on the second floor. Die FOXHOUND."  
A hole opened in the floor. Snake released the man and lunged away, practically tripping over himself in his haste to get away.  
"What... was that?" he asked.  
Gray Fox shrugged.  
They continued through a second door and grabbed another card key. They left that room and entered another room.  
"I'm Fire Trooper!" announced a voice, "I'll burn you to a crisp!"  
Snake shot him a few times and he died. Then he and Gray Fox got into the elevator.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Snake and Gray Fox got off on the second floor. They snuck past some guards and entered a room. They were immediately attacked by the two guards inside, who they immediately killed. Snake grabbed a bottle labeled "Antidote" off a table.

"What's that for?" Gray Fox asked.

"Dunno." Snake shrugged. "But it might be useful."

Gray Fox chuckled.

"What?" Snake demanded.

"Nothing. Let's go."

They left the room, avoided some guards, and opened a door. Snake was immediately attacked by a very large man.

"What the- who is this? What is happening?" he asked.

Gray Fox, who'd dodged the man, laughed. Snake ran to the middle of the room, and for some reason, the man didn't follow.

"Jesus, I think he broke my ribs," Snake groaned.

Gray Fox laughed again.

"It's not funny," Snake shouted, glaring at him.

Gray Fox smirked.

"I'm sorry, Sweetheart," he said, "Want me to kiss it and make it better?"

He dropped to his knees and kissed Snake's side. Snake groaned.

"I'm not kidding," he said.

"You'll be fine," Gray Fox said, "Uh, right?"

"Yeah, I've had worse." Snake shrugged, and then winced.

"Okay." Gray Fox got to his feet. "What should we do about this... situation?"

"Uh... call Diane, maybe?" Snake suggested, "D'you remember her new frequency, though?"

"I think it was 120.91," Gray Fox said.

Snake called Diane.

"Hi, welcome to Chilli's, this is Diane... sorry, it's you. What's up?" Diane said.

"There's a huge... dude... here," Snake said.

"Oh, shit, that's Arnold. He's indestructible. Run away," Diane said.

Snake groaned.

He and Gray Fox left the room. Snake choked out a guard and they entered a prison cell.

"Thank you for saving me," said the prisoner, "You should be able to contact Jennifer from the Resistance on frequency 120.48. She'll provide you support."

Thanks," Snake said, turning to leave.

"Wait, she's really, really proud. Unless you're really high class, she... probably won't respond."

Snake stared at him.

"Like... I need to be really rich?" Snake asked.

"No.."

"Good. I'm fully prepared eat the rich."

Gray Fox and the prisoner stared at him.

"I'm kidding," he said quickly (he wasn't).

"Okay..." Gray Fox said, "It's time to go."

"Wait, lemme call Jennifer," Snake said.

He called her.

"This is Jennifer," said a voice, "I'll prepare the rocket launcher. Over."

The call ended.

"What?" Snake asked.

Snake and Gray Fox left the cell. They took out the guards and entered a room There was a rocket launcher inside.

"Huh," Snake said and grabbed it.

The returned to the room with Arnold, the Large Man.

"Holy shit," Snake said, "There's two of them."

They avoided the second Arnold and left the room, sneaking past some guards, and entered a jail cell. Inside was an old man.

"Dr. Madnar?" Snake asked, "Is it the real you this time? What's three plus three?"

"Six," the old man said, confused, "What?"

"Dammit, we shoulda had a code or whatever," Snake groaned, "Something only the real Dr. Madnar would know."

"Then how would we know it?" Gray Fox asked.

"Well, we'd also know, obviously," Snake said.

"But then, that wouldn't be something that only Dr. Madnar would know."

Snake considered that.

"You're right," he said finally.

Gray Fox smirked.

"Can you two stop with your nonsense," the old man groaned, "I'm Dr. Madnar."

"Sorry, Sir," Snake said, "But we had a, uh... mishap with a fake you."

Dr. Madnar rolled his eyes.

"My daugher, Ellen, is a hostage," he said, "Unless you help her, I won't tell you about Metal Gear.

"Seriously," Gray Fox groaned,

Dr. Madnar's eyes filled with tears.

"Please, you have to help her," he sobbed.

"Do you... know where she is?" Snake asked.

Dr. Madnar sniffled.

"I-I think she's in the basement of Building 1. Please-"

"We'll find her," Snake promised, "Just... stay here, okay."

Dr. Madnar wiped his eyes.

"Thank you," he said, throwing his arms around Snake, "Thank you so much!"

"Um, it's no problem," Snake said, awkwardly patting Dr. Madnar's back.

Gray Fox laughed.

"Um, look, Sir... we really need to... go," Snake said finally.

Dr. Madnar jumped back.

"Yes. Yes, of course," he said, "Please bring Ellen here."

"That might-" Gray Fox started.

Snake elbowed him.

"Of course, Sir," he said.

They left.

"What the Hell was that?" Gray Fox demanded.

"What?" Snake asked, confused.

"'Of course, Sir'," Gray Fox said mockingly, "How are we to get a civilian over here?"

"How else will he know-"

"He doesn't need to know. He just needs to take our word for it."

"We are bringing her here," Snake said firmly, "That's final."

Gray Fox threw up his hands.

"Fine!" he snapped, "But if she dies, that's on you."

They continued on, dodging the Arnold again and sneaking past some guards, and entered a prison cell.

"You need a compass to cross the desert," the prisoner said.

Snake gave him a thumbs up. They left the cell, avoided some guards, dodged a rolly-thing, and got into the elevator.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Snake and Gray Fox got off the elevator on the first floor, and were immediately shot at by two guards. They killed the guards and left the room. Eventually, they ended up in the room they'd entered the building from, but on the other side. They entered a room and grabbed a flashlight before leaving. They snuck past some guards and entered a prison cell.

"The far end of the water works is connected to Building 3," the prisoner informed them.

Snake groaned.

"There's three buildings? Seriously?" he asked, "I wanna take a nap."

"Snake..." Gray Fox said, warningly.

"I know," Snake groaned.

They continued on, running lazers again, and left the building. They ran down the path between the two buildings and reentered Building 1. They wandered around they found the elevator.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Snake and Gray Fox got out in the basement. They found some body armor. They made their way to where they'd been captured.

"So, this is where we first met," Snake said absently.

"Mm," was Gray Fox's response.

They continued on, avoiding some dogs, and entered a room.

"Help!" called a girl's voice.

"Ellen?" Snake asked.

"What?"

"Are you Ellen Madnar?"

"Yeah, why?" the girl demanded, "Who are you?"

"My name is Solid Snake," Snake said, "Your father sent us to find you."

"Oh."

"Can you tell us anything about where you are?" Snake asked.

"Um... I'm behind a fake wall," Ellen said.

"Jesus, it's like the Goddamn Cask of Amontillado," Snake mumbled.

Gray Fox stared at him.

"What?" Ellen asked.

"Never mind," Snake mumbled.

He approached the right wall and a hole opened up in the floor.

"Well," he sighed.

He knocked on the wall until he found a spot that sounded differently. He blew up the wall with a plastic explosive.

"Hey, Ellen," Snake said.

"Hi," Ellen said, standing up and brushing off her skirt, "Let's go."

"Go?" Gray Fox questioned.

"Yeah," Ellen shrugged, "You guys are taking me to my father."

Snake shot a triumphant look at Gray Fox.

The gang continued on until they entered a pitch-black room.

"Jesus, it's pitch-black dark in here," Ellen groaned.

"Oh, I have a flashlight," Snake announced, pulling out the flashlight and turning it on.

They made their way through the basement by the light of Snake's flashlight, avoiding holes in the floor.

When they got to the end, Diane called.

"Hey, look out for traps," she said, "'Kay, bye."

"Would've been helpful earlier," Snake groaned.


	13. Chapter 13

Snake, Gray Fox, and Ellen were in the basement of Building 2. They ran through a hole in the floor and entered a room... which was full of gas.

"Okay, everyone out," Snake said, ushering everyone back into the previous room.

"What's going on?" Ellen demanded.

"The place's full of gas," Snake explained, "Are you good at holding your breath?"

Ellen sniggered, "That's not something you ask a lady."

"What?" Snake asked, staring at her.

Ellen rolled her eyes.

"You're probably more... experienced then him," Gray Fox told her, "In fact-"

"Okay, you two, shut up," Snake groaned.

"Aw, you're no fun," Ellen pouted. Then she smirked. "Yeah, I guess I am good at holding my breath."

Snake groaned.

"Finally," he said, pulling on the gas mask.

They ran around until they ended up in a room.

"Okay, um, we can rest here," Snake said.

Then he noticed a ration.

"Oh shit," he said, "You guys hungry?"

Gray Fox and Ellen glanced at each other.

"Mm, I could eat," Ellen said.

They sat down and split the ration.

"Jesus, that's disgusting," Ellen groaned, "How d'you two stand it?"

"It's an... acquired taste," Gray Fox said, winking at Snake.

"I have no idea what you're trying to imply," Snake confessed.

Gray Fox rolled his eyes.

When they were done eating, they left the room and ran to the elevator.

"Hey, what floor was Dr. Madnar on? Two?" Snake asked once they were inside.

"Yes," Gray Fox groaned.

They got out on the second floor and were spotted almost immediately.

"Okay, let's go," Snake said and they took off running to Dr. Madnar's cell.

"Dad!" Ellen yelled.

"Ellen!" Dr. Madnar yelled.

They hugged, and Dr. Madnar was crying again.

"Thank you so much," he sobbed.

"Um, so... about Metal Gear," Snake said awkwardly.

"Oh, right," Dr. Madnar said, "It's twenty kilometers north of here, a hundred floors under Building 3."

"Thanks," Snake said, "But how do I destroy it?"

"Metal Gear only has one weakness," Dr. Madnar said proudly, "It's legs. You need to place plastic explosives on them in the sequence right, right, left, right, left, left, right, left, left, right, right, left, right, left, right... I don't remember, but there needs to be sixteen."

"I mean, there's a fifty percent chance that I can guess right," Snake said.

"Those're terrible odds," Ellen pointed out.

Dr. Madnar slumped over.

"I'm sorry," he said, "I wish I could help more."

"I could," Ellen said.

"What?" Snake asked.

"I could help. Go with you." she shrugged.

"Ellen, no," Dr. Madnar said.

"Dad, you created this thing. I should help destroy it."

"Ellen, no," Snake said finally, "I'm sorry, but it's too dangerous. You two should get outta here."

"Oh," Dr. Madnar said, "The Arnolds have the card that'll get you out of Building 2. They're vulnerable to rocket launchers."

"Okay, thanks," Snake said.

Snake and Gray Fox returned to the Arnolds' room and Snake shot them with the rocket launcher until they died. He picked up the card and went to the elevator.


	14. Chapter 14

Snake and Gray Fox got off on the first floor. They ignored the two guards waiting for them outside the elevator. They wandered around until they found some shallow water. They got in it and waded through until they could get out. They continued on until they ended up outside. There were a bunch of scorpions.

"Wait," Snake said, "We need a compass to cross the desert."

"Do you have a compass?" Gray Fox asked.

"Uh..." Snake checked his pockets. "...Noooo..."

Gray Fox groaned.

"Where the fuck is it?" he asked.

Snake shrugged and called Schneider, the Cliffpercher.

"Hey, do you know where I can find a compass?" Snake asked.

"Mm... try the second floor," Schneider, the Cliffpercher suggested, "Think there's one there."

So they had to go to the second floor, but surprise, ya gotta go through the basement.

Anyway, they made it to the second floor, after a lot of pointless trials. They ended up in front of a locked door.

"I'll call Jennifer," Snake groaned.

"This is Jennifer. I'll open the door. Over," Jennifer said.

Somehow, the door opened right in front of them. Inside was the compass. They grabbed it and made their way to the... other place.

They ran through the desert and I guess Snake got stung by a scorpion. All I know's I just started takin' damage.

"Jesus," Snake groaned and drank the antidote he'd found earlier. They continued on and ended up in front of a bunch of trucks. Snake got a call from Big Boss.

"This is Big Boss," he said, "Get in the truck on the right. Over."

There was something in his voice that Snake didn't trust, so he decided to ignore Big Boss. Instead, he entered Building 3.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Snake and Gray Fox entered Building 3 and immediately got a call from Big Boss.

"This is Big Boss," he said, "Enter the door on your left. Over."

Snake still didn't exactly trust him, but he decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he was just stressed. It'd been a stressful mission. He entered the the room and a hole opened up in the floor. He returned to the first room, where Gray Fox was waiting for him.

"What was that about?" Gray Fox asked.

"I have no idea," Snake confessed.

He sighed loudly.

"Anyway, how're we gonna get outta here?" he asked.

"The walls," Gray Fox suggested.

He reached into Snake's pocket and pulled out a plastic explosive. He placed it on the wall, where it blew up to reveal the way forward.

"Thanks," Snake said, fingergunning.

Gray Fox grinned.

"Looks like you owe me again," he said.

"Later, okay," Snake said, "I just wanna finish this and take a nap."

Gray Fox shrugged.

They continued on until they found an elevator.

"Okay, y'know what," Snake sighed, "This is probably gonna be a really long ride."

"So, you wanna..."

"Yeah."


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

They'd finally reached the bottom. And, um, some other stuff too. Wink.

got a call from Jennifer..

"There's an oxygen on the other side of the wall," she said, "Over."

sighed. He avoided a security camera using his box and tried to open the door on his right. It wouldn't open with any of his cards. He groaned and hid behind the weird wall in the middle of the room.

"Behind the wall..." he said, thinking out loud.

Gray stared at him.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing. Never mind," said quickly.

He blew up the wall with a plastic explosive and found an oxygen .

"Yeah boi," he said. It was his longest "Yeah boi" ever. And his only one.

So then he and Gray avoided the cameras again and endured another painfully long elevator ride, complete with .

Then they had to run all the way back to Building 2, which was just annoying, mostly because Big Boss kept trying to get to do the same stupid shit as earlier, and the scorpions. But at least didn't get stung this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on Tumblr I shitpost about Metal Gear:  
https://www.tumblr.com/blog/princesslink25


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Snake and Gray Fox stood in the shallow water in Building 2.

"Well, here goes nothing," Snake said, pulling the mask attached to the oxygen tank on.

The pair slid into the deeper water and swam off.

They swam for a very, very long time. When they finally made it to shallower water, they immediately had to sneak past some guards. They continued until their path was blocked by an electric floor.

"Well, one wrong step and we'd be bacon," Snake said.

He pulled out the RC Missiles and shot the control panel thingy. They entered the room on their left. Snake got a call from Schneider, the Cliffpercher.

"This is Resistance Leader Schneider, the Cliffpercher," he said, "I know who the Outer Heaven boss is. It's... it's..."

"Who?" Snake asked.

Schneider, the Cliffpercher screamed.

"Schneider?" Snake said, "Schneider! SCHNEIDER!"

"What?" Gray Fox asked.

"Something happened to Schneider, the Cliffpercher," Snake said.

"Oh."

They left the room and went to the other door.

"I'm Coward Duck!" yelled a man, "Go ahead and shoot me- if you dare!"

Snake got a call from Jennifer.

"This is Jennifer," she said, "Coward Duck has Card 8. My brother is one of the his captives. Please be careful. If anything happens to my brother, I won't help you."

She ended the call. Coward Duck started throwing... like, boomerangs, I think, at Snake and Gray Fox. Snake called Diane.

"Hi, wlcome to Chili's," she said, "The only way to beat Coward Duck without killing your allies is to use the handgun. Bye."

Snake and Gray Fox killed Coward Duck.

"Hey, I'm Jennifer's brother," said one of the hostages, "When you make your escape, use the left ladder."

"'Kay, thanks," Snake said.

So then they went back to Building 3.


End file.
